Dear Savvy Surrogate: Can We Share a Lawyer?
Dear Savvy Surrogate:
I’m a hopeful gestational carrier from New Hampshire. I have been matched with fantastic Intended Parents from New York. They have had a really rough journey to get to this point. I can’t share the details, but they have been through a LOT-both emotionally and financially. We have all become friends now and I would like to do what I can on my end to make the process easier for them financially. They happen to have a friend who lives in New Hampshire who is a lawyer and is willing to do the legal contract for them at no charge. Can their lawyer represent me (and my husband) also? The lawyer is saying this is fine as long as we agree to it. And they are my friends, they would never take advantage of me.
Sincerely,
Wanna-Be-Surrogate in New Hampshire
Dear Wanna-Be:
The Savvy Surrogate gets asked this question a lot. The answer is always the same: no, nope, absolutely not. You MUST have your own lawyer. It’s just too much of a conflict of interest for the lawyer to represent everyone on the contract. A lawyer can represent spouses, and that’s fine. So one lawyer can represent you and your husband. And a different lawyer can represent both intended parents. But ALL of you with the same lawyer? NO WAY!
You guys are friends. I get that. But surrogacy is a legal transaction even when it involves friends. One of the jobs of your lawyer is to advocate for you. It’s too easy for someone to get taken advantage of—even unintentionally—when everyone shares a surrogacy lawyer. Did you know that the mere fact that you *could* get taken advantage of is enough for a judge to say “no way” to your arrangement? That’s right—using the same lawyer could really mess up your surrogacy plans and keep you guys from getting the birth certificate the way you want it. Yikes!
Plus, and this factor makes the decision easy for you, the law in New Hampshire states that you must have your own attorney. In fact, the attorney cannot even be from the same law firm as the attorney for the intended parents. So no way a New Hampshire lawyer should be telling you it’s OK!
For our friends from Maine and Vermont, you’ll find the same is true in those states too—the surrogate must have her own lawyer. And it’s a requirement of our program for the three other New England states where the laws don’t specifically address this—that’s Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Rhode Island.
The good news is that having a second attorney involved is a relatively inexpensive part of the process. I know you want to help your friends save money (and that’s really great of you to be thinking that way), but this is not the right place to cut corners.
Good luck on your journey!
The Savvy Surrogate