Can a Single Mother Become a Surrogate?
Dear Savvy Surrogate:
I’m divorced and co-parenting my two children with my ex-husband. However, he is not a big part of their lives and mostly I’m parenting on my own. I live in an apartment complex where—fortunately—my mom and sister both live too. I’m very close with both of them. My sister’s oldest two kids help me out with babysitting when I need a sitter. My questions is — Can I become a surrogate if I am a single mother?
Truly yours,
Single Mother
Dear Single:
At New England Surrogacy, we gladly work with surrogates who are single mothers. What’s important for all surrogates is that you have a strong support network for your family. And it sounds like you do. A surrogate pregnancy involves much more of a commitment than a typical pregnancy, at least at the beginning when you are doing shots & ultrasounds & all the other things that go along with getting pregnant via IVF. So it’s important that you have a strong support network around you—whether it be among your family or friends.
Some other things to think about if you are a single mother:
Will your child support payments be impacted by your compensation? This is a discussion to have with your divorce lawyer.
If you are still legally married, your spouse will need to be supportive of your surrogacy plans, even if you don’t live together. This is important because you don’t want him to use the surrogacy arrangement as a way to leverage the divorce process. He may also need to participate in the legal piece of the surrogacy journey. For example, he may have to sign the surrogacy contract and, later on, paperwork for the court order regarding the birth certificate.
If you are still legally married, your compensation may be marital property to be divided between you and your spouse as part of the divorce—again, this is something to discuss with your divorce attorney.
If you are dating anyone, it’s important that he (or she) be supportive of your surrogacy journey. Before you become sexually intimate with someone, that person will need to be medically screened for communicable diseases. Talk to your RE (fertility doctor) or OB/GYN about this and check your surrogacy contract for any restrictions relative to new partners. You may also decide to hold off on sexual activity until after the baby is born.
I hope all this information is helpful to you!
The Savvy Surrogate
Ready to take the next step toward becoming a surrogate? Contact us today to talk directly to a former surrogate about the next steps in the process.
Interested in becoming a single intended parent? We work with both single intended fathers and single intended mothers. Contact us today!